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I’m going to take the liberty of speaking for the Teletypewriter Dynamic Duo here (something I try not to do most of the time) and say that our trend of barely ever being updated is over. At least for myself. So I guess I am speaking for only myself, and well 50% is better than 0%, or so I recall from those long past days of basic mathematics.
You are what you eat- in this case: secretly red on the inside.
Yesterday was Free Ice Cream Day at my place of employment, and for that moment the raging, red flag flying Socialist in me relented and instead my inner human buried under all the crap of adult life enjoyed the impressionistic and subjective experience of Good Humor’s classic Strawberry Shortcake. It was probably the best thing I’ve eaten all week. Of course I had all sorts of choices at my disposal, the drumstick, chocolate eclair, fudgsicle… no, the choice was obvious and clear. It had to be the Strawberry Shortcake, as I was still previously recovering from the previous night’s ice cream binge of a veritable mountain of triple chocolate ice cream from the less frequented but equally good ice cream shop in town. It was fantastic.
In other, sadly non-ice-cream-related developments, my friend Erik is departing his homeland of Sverige and taking some time to study at my Alma Mater’s business school. I am very pleased with this, and it seems that he is as well. Superb! A friend from far away will be in my neck of the world for a while, and I’ll finally get some one to whom I can get sound business advice from. Stocks? Bonds? Which is really the right choice?Maybe a mutual fund instead? See, this is why I contribute to a pop culture blog, and not Forbes Magazine. But for a little bit I’ll get to host him. So welcome to America, Erik. Home of the free, the brave, and the econopocalypse- Bernanke say’s we’ve hit bottom, we can only go up from there, MBAs ahoy!!
I guess we’ll never know if beer really did fix racism in post-racism America since it wasn’t filmed. Of course the AP had to have a field day with this story. Red, Light and Blue?? Really? Really?! Interrobang?! You guys are ridiculous. You see, this is why print media is going down the toilet, because of shameless puns on any and every story. Either help newspapers sell more ad space and/or increase circulation numbers. Third rate word jokes at the top of what was an interesting story just won’t cut it.
Old news, but Teletypewriter relevant news: Sarah Palin, she’s a quitter!
You betcha!
2012! 2012! I guess I’m “sad” (since I will no longer be politically horrified/entertained) to see her depart the politcal arena, but anxious and excited to see which piece of media air space she’ll choose next to rear her head in. Hunting celebrities from a private helicopter in LA? The American public would pay great money to see that. Either way anything else could only be a step up. Mayber her own late night comedy block or she could even make guest contributions on Boing Boing or… wait… …maybe wordpress?
(Sarah if you’re reading this, email us!! )
Greetings from Southern California, or as Jean Baudrillard so lovingly calls my home state, the “desert of the hyperreal.” I write you all while basking in the glimmering sunshine amidst throngs of blonde women clad in velour Juicy Couture tracksuits, UGG boots, and oversized sunglasses. Tonight, I shall feast on vegan cuisine with my favorite globetrotter, Lauren. While my trusted and best beloved lab partner/co-author/homeslice ices over in Massachusetts, I decided to take some time to put 2008 in perspective.
To begin with, 2008 was the year of the Rat. It was also the year that a small army of mice invaded my apartment. Currently, Lo tha Funkee Feline is holding down the fort and keeping the little critters at bay by intimidating and humiliating these small rodent beings. Apparently, she also likes to sadistically humiliate and destroy phone cords.
Photo Credit: Pooley/Getty Images
My mind is still more boggled by the enigma of Sarah Palin than “Joe the Plumber,” but I like how America’s new working-class hero now has to hire a publicist due to all the attention he’s been getting from the McCain campaign. Rumor has it that there are “Joe the Plumber” books, public appearances, and, possibly a country music album in the works. I have to hand it to Joe. I think this is brilliant. What’s more American than the working class? Could it be the middle to upper class’s fetishization of the working class? Of course not! (That would be un-American.) It’s cashing in and selling out! Just think of all the “bootstrapping” yarns the McCain camp could spin now. Read the rest of this entry »
It’s been a slow week here at Teletypewriter as Mr. Drinkwater and I have been consuming various medias faster than we can report on them. We also consumed an unusual amount of apple pie whilst pondering my strange preoccupation with Sarah Palin. Read the rest of this entry »
Pardon my minor obsession with Sarah Palin, but her enigma possesses me like no other. Allegedly, this is her report card complete with SAT scores. While I harbor absolutely zero sympathy or any other warm feelings toward this woman, I sure hope this is as fake as all get out. In fact, it has to be fake. Seriously: a “D” in foreign language given her close proximity to Russia?! Impossible!
The 416 on the math scores are especially charming since one gets 200 points just for writing their name.
For some of you, this may come as old news. But for those of you who haven’t done a thorough google search of our favorite beauty queen lately, now hear this: allegedly, this pit bull hockey mom has her lipstick tattooed on. I guess compulsively reproducing, threatening women’s rights, and conducting business e-mail out of a Yahoo account all while pretending to be a feminist leaves very little time for lipstick application. It’s okay, Sarah, I understand. My real worry for you is that you’ll never be able to experience the joys of M.A.C. Lip Glass like the rest of us.
Anyway, the full “story” is here.
I suppose the real question is…should we care? Well, of course we should! You see, the internet is in the middle of a very important decision: is Sarah Palin a “milf,” a “vpilf,” a heartbeat away from being a “pilf,” or all three? In my opinion, this is breathtakingly milfy and I know milfy aesthetic when I see it, gosh darrnit you betcha!
