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Greetings from Southern California, or as Jean Baudrillard so lovingly calls my home state, the “desert of the hyperreal.” I write you all while basking in the glimmering sunshine amidst throngs of blonde women clad in velour Juicy Couture tracksuits, UGG boots, and oversized sunglasses. Tonight, I shall feast on vegan cuisine with my favorite globetrotter, Lauren. While my trusted and best beloved lab partner/co-author/homeslice ices over in Massachusetts, I decided to take some time to put 2008 in perspective.
To begin with, 2008 was the year of the Rat. It was also the year that a small army of mice invaded my apartment. Currently, Lo tha Funkee Feline is holding down the fort and keeping the little critters at bay by intimidating and humiliating these small rodent beings. Apparently, she also likes to sadistically humiliate and destroy phone cords.
Photo Credit: Pooley/Getty Images
My mind is still more boggled by the enigma of Sarah Palin than “Joe the Plumber,” but I like how America’s new working-class hero now has to hire a publicist due to all the attention he’s been getting from the McCain campaign. Rumor has it that there are “Joe the Plumber” books, public appearances, and, possibly a country music album in the works. I have to hand it to Joe. I think this is brilliant. What’s more American than the working class? Could it be the middle to upper class’s fetishization of the working class? Of course not! (That would be un-American.) It’s cashing in and selling out! Just think of all the “bootstrapping” yarns the McCain camp could spin now. Read the rest of this entry »
This is my sea kitten, complete with unicorn horn and mohawk, because... ...gah, I don't even know.
So PETA…. I… I… uh….
Let me get this straight… Fish are now Sea Kittens. Sea Kittens. This is the newest campaign to educa- I mean, brainwash, guilt and confuse children brought to you from your friends at PETA. Though it’s content should definitely not be directed at children (storybook depictions of conspiracy, depression, anxiety, mercury poisoning), rather it is just angry blathering. Also, it’s almost sad to see how widely it completely misses the mark. I’m pretty sure the campaign directors at PETA have gone insane, because they used to have some decent points. Now fish are apparently kittens, sea kittens no less.
Though I have to hand it to them for taking a page from Mother Church’s chapter on guilt, but they missed the subsequent chapters on having the intended controlling subject matter at least try to make sense. Known fact: kittens and cats of any age hate water. I don’t even know how to begin to process this aside from blatant, dumbfounded, moments of “…whaaat??” and the sometimes too eloquent “…”.
