or why i’m in favor of body hair

Preface: First, I would like to state clearly and concisely that I do not look at pornography, rather I enjoy it. I watch it, read it; it is integral to the sanity of a single guy. But within this adult slice of the pop collective is a trend that I have noticed for sometime- this of course being the trend of no or severely reduced body hair. Not just on women but on men as well. Secondly, I am in no way in line with the New Age Hippy Locally Grown Agenda which also seems to be an on-going albeit completely different and odoriferous trend. And lastly,I would like to loosely define body hair as hair on the legs, within the axillary and pubic regions, and in the case of males, hair on the torso. Now we have some parameters. Great.

Shaved legs don’t really bother me, I’m quite neutral on this field. They are not inherently offensive to me but I feel like there shouldn’t be some social obligation behind it. The same with underarm shaving. Contrary to advertisement’s best efforts, myself and probably others of sound mind don’t find body hair to be offensive. Just take care of it. Its not tough! Showering on a regular basis is pretty easy. Worth noting is the undeniable fact that body odor is offensive. It takes a certain intentional neglect to get that ripe, and is not inherently the fault of body hair, but rather the person to whom it belong’s lack of hygiene.

So I don’t really care one way or the other when it comes to leg or axillary hair, but I find the practice of removing pubic hair to be quite the buzzkill. Why? Consider the age demographic that inherently does not have body hair… Thats right, the prepubescent. Now maybe it’s my own messed up head for attributing shaved mounds to youths, but I feel that my redemption is found in my revulsion. Now for a moment consider the fetish that a shaved pubis has become. That’s double plus weird. It necessarily isn’t my attribution but rather a scientifically proven fact [citation needed] that the absence of body hair is a physical signal of being sexually immature, ergo a child.

The removal of body hair for the sake of presenting a more youthful appearance has probably been going on for ages, or as long as there have been razors or razor-like objects. A wide variety of cultures have practices of hair removal for the sake of beautification. Its a cross cultural phenomenon. Shaved heads, threaded eyebrows, trimmed mustaches, waxed bikini lines. The list of how hair in its many locations is augmented would be very long and beyond my attention span to document and yours to read. I’m glad we have this sort of understanding ♥.

With respect to the primary form of photographed pubis documentation, pornography, it is a given that the readily available sample size increases exponentially from when the first photographed porn star held still for a half hour to the contemporaneously ubiquitous web cam performer. The documented trend of the shaved pubis probably first appeared in the mid 70′s, and has only become more common since then.

Another quick and self critical note about using pornography as a source from which to draw points, it is understood by the author that the contemporary commercial porn industry actively seeks a certain aesthetic, so therefore the sample that is being references may indeed be a bit biased. However, this is an entry on wordpress and not an article in American Anthropologist despite certain persons out there wishing their damnedest that the flagship journal of AAA would have something as exciting as ‘Sexualized Grooming Practices of the Occidental Homo Sapiens Sapiens’ within its vanilla pages.

Those asides completed, the trend of shaving body hair has maybe been around or at least more widely displayed a little bit longer in males, but much higher than the pelvis, e.g. the chest and torso; which in most cases are often places of body hair. The author is exempt in this case, which has led to certain frustrations- BUT I DIGRESS; Guys often have chest hair, but in order to show off their muscles, appear more enticing, to reduce drag while swimming competitively, or they themselves or their significant others simply prefer their upper bodies with out, they trim or shave it away. It’s what some of them do. But aside from this trend which has become nearly as accepted as ladies shaving their legs, I’ve noticed that men in the commercialized porn industry are tending to their pubes just as often as ladies, with little difference regarding a films intended audience.

When discussing the topic of this meditation on pubic shaving with my good friend Trampas Locke, I brought up the objective observation that it makes the body look immature In response,  he brought up a second psychologically flavored point- that men might do this in order to make their wangs appear larger. My response to his insight was a resounding “Huh”. I understand that from from a certain perspective this might work out all well and good for those who are “average” to appear “above average”, but couldn’t this also work in the opposite fashion regardless of their intention? Doesn’t the shaving male take a certain gamble in the matter of proportion? Also, if the wang is small to begin with, even if they shave off all their body hair, it is still small. Small wang is small, thank you fourchan.

My thought and subsequently more cohesive reply to my friend came from a psychological stand point; if a male is initially convinced that his penis is [too] small to begin with but then hears that shaving away the pubic hair makes the penis appear larger, even after he’s committed to having a bald pubis, wouldn’t he still be likely to find fault in the size of the genetically predetermined penis he matured into? Thus that individual would be left with Bic in hand, an over exposed penis, and a reinvigorated compulsion to buy an Escalade.

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In regards to history a shaved pubis upon a woman was the mark of a prostitute, as it was proactive in louse prevention and infestation removal. But these ladies were subject to the aesthetic preference of a covered pubis and so necessity bore the invention of the merkin. These delightfully named objects effectively being adhesive wigs for the pubis. They allowed the wearer to mix or match the carpets and the drapes if they so desired. But a full bush was historically the preference among the clientèle wherein if it were otherwise, the merkin wouldn’t have come into existence.

Keeping one’s body hair isn’t as bad as the beauty industry might lead you to believe. It’s beneficial towards thermoregulation, pheromone distribution, and providing a visual cue of one’s fertility or virility. Higher testosterone levels are often indicated by an increased presence of body hair. Therefore it could even play a role in the subconscious decision making process of mate selection. Pubic hair has even recently been embraced a canvas for painting, at least in a hair dying sense. Some companies have reformulated the hair bleaching and pigment deposition process so that it is now possible to dye the formerly problematically coarse hair that was in a sensitive location. Chemical burns on the junk for the sake of a “Pink Betty” are now a thing of the past.

But regardless of who does what to where, there are those who are sexually excited by shaving. It’s a fetish, so it makes sense for them to do it. However there are those who [un]knowingly serve as proponents of advancing the shaved aesthetic which seems from my possibly circular logic to embrace a certain absurd denial of the physical aspect of the self. This being a self that doesn’t like razor bumps, ingrown hairs, accidental cuts or the people who effectively finance the home waxing/depilatory/electrolysis infomercial businesses that have carved out a niche in the late night programming across the U.S.

But I suppose in closing there is my ultimate point: to all those who might find yourselves in bed with me- We’re both consenting adults, let’s look the part, no?